Change or not to change

We are concerned, are we not, with the exploration of our inward nature, which is very complex. This investigation is really self-education - not to change what is, but to understand what is. What is, is far more important than what should be. The understanding of what we actually are is far more essential than to transcend what we are...
J. Krishnamurti from letters to the schools Vol 2 (1985)
Taken from The Healing Journey by Mark Pearson 1997

So often we put all our effort into change, and do not understand where we are. Change can be good and not so good. With every action there exists a reaction. Therefore we need to fully understand the total of who we are and what we are in relationship to where we are...
Before taking off in a new direction first we need to discover the vehicle we are driving...
I have been in the market for a new vehicle, as mine is long passed its time with many bumps upon the exterior. The motor should be reasonably sound because I had the engine reconditions when blowing a head gasket some months ago. I have lost confidence in this vehicle although I have a liking for it. It is a reasonable means of transport, not as comfortable as some but goes from here to there, and really a vehicle is meant to transport.
I have test driven a number of vehicles of late, to discover what means of transport would suit my purposes. At first I tried a Van... a Kombi as I have a soft spot for the old things, they take me back to the early days of married life and young family. This vehicle I test drove, certainly was nothing like I remembered. It was big and chunky, heavy on the clutch and accelerator. It manoeuvred well, but I soon discovered it was not the vehicle for me... Then I tried a vehicle much the same as my old girl... although a newer model and in far better order. Getting out of the Sale yard an onto the road, there was just something about this vehicle that did not jell with me, it was not smooth on the uptake or handle like I was used to, it felt too big and yet I wanted a roomy vehicle, what was it that I did not like is a mystery to me. The Sales man in his zest to find a car for me sent me out in another vehicle, it had many likable creature comforts and drove quite well, but it was a manual, and I have become so used to an Automatic gearing. Again this vehicle would not take my fancy. Ah the next vehicle seemed so right, I got in and it felt like a glove, it fitted my every need. Drove so nice and I felt like queen of the road, my desire was for this one, accept for the price, it did not quite fit what I had to spend. The sales man tried for all his might to get the price within what I could afford. Funny thing I think he thought I was trying to barter him for the price, when in fact I was saying "Yes I like this vehicle but I can not afford it".
Ah the unthinkable has happened, the toilet has become a problem, and I thought it just was a blockage, but it seems it is more than that, a pipe is broken or a tree root is strangling the flow. The plumber tells us this will cost quite a bit more than we thought. Our budget is cut short for a vehicle to drive.
I look closer to home for a vehicle, and come across one very different than what I first had thought I wanted or needed. It drives so nice, I like it so very much, and the size the shape the colour even is to my desire. But alas we ponder on what we can really afford and this one would stretch it just too far also. Again we are at a loss, of what we can afford. I look online and discover more vehicles, but just how many can I test drive, fall in love with, only to find I can not afford the price.
Back at square one, I need a change, but what and how, and how to afford to change is my dilemma once again.