Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Moments From the Past that still have Effect on TODAY
The Replacement
A child is born but does not survive; this leaves a family in utter turmoil and despair. The mother grieves and the tears flow, the father is in pain but has no answers for his wife and the children feel the darkness in the home. The child that did not live and thrive was taken from the family leaving much anguish, he was only on loan to them.
The mother is told that the child is weak due to his major heart defect and that his life expectancy is very short. To survive at all he needs to be kept from crying as much as possible so that his enlarged heart will not be put under stress. She tries her best to comfort him but cannot succeed. He is in pain and crying, of course, it is the natural reaction to his pain. The poor little fellow has no other way to communicate his distress. The other children within the family try with heavy hearts to distract him in play in a bid to make him happy but there is no hope as the downward spiral has already begun.
Taken from his mother's breast and placed in an oxygen tent in hospital, the mother's tears dry up - she is too numb to feel anything. She simply looks on - feeling powerless, almost a spectator as the baby’s life slowly but surely ebbs away. She feels the strength in her husband's arms around her as he quietly looks on feeling wretched and helpless. The final blow comes when the baby takes his last wavering breath, his struggle is over but the mother feels crushed and her desire to continue living no longer exists.
The ensuing weeks seem unbearable as she goes about the mundane tasks of keeping house and looking after the other children. Her husband, feeling depleted emotionally himself, is at the end of his wits to find a way to rescue his wife from the emptiness she is suffering. A holiday with his family is arranged and although the older children have a wonderful time, the mother's pain and depression deepens. Her life has lost all colour and passion. She has a sense of inertia, no meaning to anything.
Finally, her doctor suggests that another child might alleviate the sense of loss and the emptiness she feels within her heart. The seed is sown so to speak and soon another child is on the way. The mother accepts the gift of this child with all her heart. The family pain still remains but this new little child will soon win their hearts.
The years pass, the baby grows; this little girl feels the burden of being the replacement for the emptiness her mother has suffered in the loss of the beloved baby son. She knows she can never replace him but she somehow feels responsible to sustain her mother's happiness.
Although full of life and fun and outwardly very strong, this dear child has some difficulties that she will have to overcome. At school she struggles with reading and spelling and is constantly told to concentrate more and to work harder to stay ahead of the game. However, although she sees the written word clearly with her eyes, the messages to her brain are interrupted; this makes reading and spelling very difficult. Attentiveness is difficult to maintain as her brain is being bombarded with many different messages at the same time. By contrast, maths is easy, the numbers add up without any effort.
Not to be deterred, this now grown adult goes back to education later in life. Ah! The self-esteem this inspires - she is not dumb as she so often thought.
No, she never did replace the baby boy that her mother had so tragically lost, but she has grown into her own unique self. Still in the shadow of the loss, but able to self sustain.
A child is born but does not survive; this leaves a family in utter turmoil and despair. The mother grieves and the tears flow, the father is in pain but has no answers for his wife and the children feel the darkness in the home. The child that did not live and thrive was taken from the family leaving much anguish, he was only on loan to them.
The mother is told that the child is weak due to his major heart defect and that his life expectancy is very short. To survive at all he needs to be kept from crying as much as possible so that his enlarged heart will not be put under stress. She tries her best to comfort him but cannot succeed. He is in pain and crying, of course, it is the natural reaction to his pain. The poor little fellow has no other way to communicate his distress. The other children within the family try with heavy hearts to distract him in play in a bid to make him happy but there is no hope as the downward spiral has already begun.
Taken from his mother's breast and placed in an oxygen tent in hospital, the mother's tears dry up - she is too numb to feel anything. She simply looks on - feeling powerless, almost a spectator as the baby’s life slowly but surely ebbs away. She feels the strength in her husband's arms around her as he quietly looks on feeling wretched and helpless. The final blow comes when the baby takes his last wavering breath, his struggle is over but the mother feels crushed and her desire to continue living no longer exists.
The ensuing weeks seem unbearable as she goes about the mundane tasks of keeping house and looking after the other children. Her husband, feeling depleted emotionally himself, is at the end of his wits to find a way to rescue his wife from the emptiness she is suffering. A holiday with his family is arranged and although the older children have a wonderful time, the mother's pain and depression deepens. Her life has lost all colour and passion. She has a sense of inertia, no meaning to anything.
Finally, her doctor suggests that another child might alleviate the sense of loss and the emptiness she feels within her heart. The seed is sown so to speak and soon another child is on the way. The mother accepts the gift of this child with all her heart. The family pain still remains but this new little child will soon win their hearts.
The years pass, the baby grows; this little girl feels the burden of being the replacement for the emptiness her mother has suffered in the loss of the beloved baby son. She knows she can never replace him but she somehow feels responsible to sustain her mother's happiness.
Although full of life and fun and outwardly very strong, this dear child has some difficulties that she will have to overcome. At school she struggles with reading and spelling and is constantly told to concentrate more and to work harder to stay ahead of the game. However, although she sees the written word clearly with her eyes, the messages to her brain are interrupted; this makes reading and spelling very difficult. Attentiveness is difficult to maintain as her brain is being bombarded with many different messages at the same time. By contrast, maths is easy, the numbers add up without any effort.
Not to be deterred, this now grown adult goes back to education later in life. Ah! The self-esteem this inspires - she is not dumb as she so often thought.
No, she never did replace the baby boy that her mother had so tragically lost, but she has grown into her own unique self. Still in the shadow of the loss, but able to self sustain.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
A MOMENT LONG SINCE PASSED
- BUT STILL IN OUR HEART
What can one say when a friend passes away?
It comes as a shock to our minds just how long since we touched base.
We all believe that there is always more time to do it another day.
How dare she not let us know the pain that she suffered when she knew?
If she had spoken of this then we would have had time.
Time to tell her just how much that she meant and how much we will miss.
Those times that we had while laughing at life thinking we still had more time.
This lady who now has gone to her rest
Gave our family some of the best
Moments of love and friendship that will always live in our heart
She became a surrogate aunty to our children and a real
Friend to us both.
She went out and played misses Clause
At Christmas bringing cheer to the children.
She came to family outings and camp holidays, she smiled and joked bringing such fun
We will miss Noelene very much and
thank God for letting us have some of her time
Our love and God bless to the family she left
I know you will miss her more than words can tell.
What can one say when a friend passes away?
It comes as a shock to our minds just how long since we touched base.
We all believe that there is always more time to do it another day.
How dare she not let us know the pain that she suffered when she knew?
If she had spoken of this then we would have had time.
Time to tell her just how much that she meant and how much we will miss.
Those times that we had while laughing at life thinking we still had more time.
This lady who now has gone to her rest
Gave our family some of the best
Moments of love and friendship that will always live in our heart
She became a surrogate aunty to our children and a real
Friend to us both.
She went out and played misses Clause
At Christmas bringing cheer to the children.
She came to family outings and camp holidays, she smiled and joked bringing such fun
We will miss Noelene very much and
thank God for letting us have some of her time
Our love and God bless to the family she left
I know you will miss her more than words can tell.
Moments of Reflection
The Gardener
I sit alone and look at the weeds which have overtaken the flower
beds. Darkness has taken over and the sun seems not to shine. Overcome
with grief of the lost moments of contentment, how can I continue my
journey? The destination seems to be so far away and my strength is
waning. My feet find it hard to move forward. They are stuck in the
moment of the past and all that has taken effect on my soul.
Longing for the strength to move on from the past, mustering a smile
of positive energy, I take a step into the unknown. With fear and
trepidation I launch myself with every positive emotion back into the
driver’s seat of my life.
The realisation of the past can never be erased, I understand that the
reality of my journey has left scars upon my being. These scars can
remain active and continue to fester, or I can accept that they hurt
and let the pain run the path which pain must run.
Looking at the garden again, I see within the gloom there is some
fertile ground. I can begin to clear the vegetation just one wild
plant at a time.
As I begin anew the ground feels like it could crumble beneath my
feet. I wonder who I am, and where do I fit within this terrain? At
times I plough in the field with tools which do not fit this ground.
When is it time to use the pick or the shovel?
I have no hesitation with parts of my labour but with other parts I
seem to lose my direction, zigzagging my way into brick walls. I now
need to collect my self-esteem and optimistically look at my skills,
take wisdom from lessons which have been learned and continue my
effort to complete the responsibilities of my activity.
Taking up the tools of my trade, I will endeavour to learn and develop
each day, just one moment at a time. For without the lesson of pain, a
person will stand still. They will never grow and sustain the winds of
time. To water the ground with the soul reviving strength which comes
from on high is the only way to revitalize the work which lies ahead.
Building bridges of trust, and repairing where holes may have
appeared, the journey will continue. The gardener sits with new
strength to cultivate fresh surroundings where the most productive
work will continue. The ground is not the problem; the gardener is
relieved; the style of tilling can be adjusted to fit the territory.
The garden takes on a much more positive scene? Of a future filled
with new life. The journey takes on a far brighter approach. Sunshine
has broken the foreboding clouds. There is a lighted path and the
tools are renewed. The work adopts a positive turn, with the promise
of more to come.
I sit alone and look at the weeds which have overtaken the flower
beds. Darkness has taken over and the sun seems not to shine. Overcome
with grief of the lost moments of contentment, how can I continue my
journey? The destination seems to be so far away and my strength is
waning. My feet find it hard to move forward. They are stuck in the
moment of the past and all that has taken effect on my soul.
Longing for the strength to move on from the past, mustering a smile
of positive energy, I take a step into the unknown. With fear and
trepidation I launch myself with every positive emotion back into the
driver’s seat of my life.
The realisation of the past can never be erased, I understand that the
reality of my journey has left scars upon my being. These scars can
remain active and continue to fester, or I can accept that they hurt
and let the pain run the path which pain must run.
Looking at the garden again, I see within the gloom there is some
fertile ground. I can begin to clear the vegetation just one wild
plant at a time.
As I begin anew the ground feels like it could crumble beneath my
feet. I wonder who I am, and where do I fit within this terrain? At
times I plough in the field with tools which do not fit this ground.
When is it time to use the pick or the shovel?
I have no hesitation with parts of my labour but with other parts I
seem to lose my direction, zigzagging my way into brick walls. I now
need to collect my self-esteem and optimistically look at my skills,
take wisdom from lessons which have been learned and continue my
effort to complete the responsibilities of my activity.
Taking up the tools of my trade, I will endeavour to learn and develop
each day, just one moment at a time. For without the lesson of pain, a
person will stand still. They will never grow and sustain the winds of
time. To water the ground with the soul reviving strength which comes
from on high is the only way to revitalize the work which lies ahead.
Building bridges of trust, and repairing where holes may have
appeared, the journey will continue. The gardener sits with new
strength to cultivate fresh surroundings where the most productive
work will continue. The ground is not the problem; the gardener is
relieved; the style of tilling can be adjusted to fit the territory.
The garden takes on a much more positive scene? Of a future filled
with new life. The journey takes on a far brighter approach. Sunshine
has broken the foreboding clouds. There is a lighted path and the
tools are renewed. The work adopts a positive turn, with the promise
of more to come.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A Moment of Terror in Summer Bay
Three Lives Hang in the Balance
Pregnant woman holds tightly to life.
Summer Bay scene of pending tragedy was stalled by young man’s quick thinking.
Kim a local man gasped as he saw the car his wife and child in hanging dangerously over a cliff. Panic soon turned into action as he sent friend back to town for help. Kim made his way down the slope to the vehicle urging the mother of his not yet born baby to reach for his hand and trust that he could pull her to safety. The young woman seemed to be in a pre labor condition and it was imperative that she get to hospital. Kim kept his emotions in control as he tied a rope round his waist and made his way further down the cliff face to save his wife.
This young man should be the hero of what could have been a very tragic event. Speaking to Kim at the Hospital reporter Chrissie Faye asked Kim how he was able to put his emotions to one side and pull of such a daring rescue. “I do not really know, all I could see was everything I loved being taken from me and I just did what I thought was right at the time.” Kim replied.
On further investigation of this event we were told that the pregnant girl is carrying Kim’s child, she had called Kim’s wife by telephone alerting her that she was in pre labor. When Rachel Kim’s wife who is a doctor got to the girl she realized that she needed drastic help only available at the hospital some miles away. The two began the drive, but as the girl became more and more frantic with pain and fear she dropped a mobile phone on the floor of the vehicle. The phone logged beneath the break petal. Rachel was taken by surprise loosing control of the vehicle which plummeted through some road works signs and over a cliff, leaving the car precariously hanging over the ocean by some of the plastic fencing.
Local CES spokesman Alf told Chrissie that Kim would be honored in some way for his quick responses to such a deadly situation. He would also take this matter up with council as the site could have been better fence, which may have averted such an incident.
Chrissie Faye ©
Costal News Reporter.
Pregnant woman holds tightly to life.
Summer Bay scene of pending tragedy was stalled by young man’s quick thinking.
Kim a local man gasped as he saw the car his wife and child in hanging dangerously over a cliff. Panic soon turned into action as he sent friend back to town for help. Kim made his way down the slope to the vehicle urging the mother of his not yet born baby to reach for his hand and trust that he could pull her to safety. The young woman seemed to be in a pre labor condition and it was imperative that she get to hospital. Kim kept his emotions in control as he tied a rope round his waist and made his way further down the cliff face to save his wife.
This young man should be the hero of what could have been a very tragic event. Speaking to Kim at the Hospital reporter Chrissie Faye asked Kim how he was able to put his emotions to one side and pull of such a daring rescue. “I do not really know, all I could see was everything I loved being taken from me and I just did what I thought was right at the time.” Kim replied.
On further investigation of this event we were told that the pregnant girl is carrying Kim’s child, she had called Kim’s wife by telephone alerting her that she was in pre labor. When Rachel Kim’s wife who is a doctor got to the girl she realized that she needed drastic help only available at the hospital some miles away. The two began the drive, but as the girl became more and more frantic with pain and fear she dropped a mobile phone on the floor of the vehicle. The phone logged beneath the break petal. Rachel was taken by surprise loosing control of the vehicle which plummeted through some road works signs and over a cliff, leaving the car precariously hanging over the ocean by some of the plastic fencing.
Local CES spokesman Alf told Chrissie that Kim would be honored in some way for his quick responses to such a deadly situation. He would also take this matter up with council as the site could have been better fence, which may have averted such an incident.
Chrissie Faye ©
Costal News Reporter.
Moments of Frustration
Trying to email a friend….
In trying to give her the word, I seemed to have lost the plot. I tried re writing the story many times in order for her to get the message; alas you will have to draw your own conclusion as to what the problem may be. The writing is on the wall, if I do not have her email address correct then I can never get the final words to her. I will spell it out to you and go by the book; this is a recipe for disaster letting me write down something, because when ever I write there is always a question mark over the way I may spell it out.
I won't mince words, we all know that I can not spell, and that it is a good question, so let us simply publish and be dammed.
A word to the wise, may be the full story could overt a war of words, because it is an unwritten law that email addresses unless precise will never reach the intended destination. I believe that Frances did put pen to paper and just for the record wrote to Sue via snail mail, and so I wonder if a word to the wise may be to let Frances tell the story, because mark my words I could not read her lips.
This well may be a writing disaster, the full story will be unveiled just for the record, let us be straitened out by the very words that are written to the wise. With a letter of fire I think I may very well have lost the plot altogether.
hummm there begs the question, why is this Dog eat Dog world of ours based on spelling things out..
In trying to give her the word, I seemed to have lost the plot. I tried re writing the story many times in order for her to get the message; alas you will have to draw your own conclusion as to what the problem may be. The writing is on the wall, if I do not have her email address correct then I can never get the final words to her. I will spell it out to you and go by the book; this is a recipe for disaster letting me write down something, because when ever I write there is always a question mark over the way I may spell it out.
I won't mince words, we all know that I can not spell, and that it is a good question, so let us simply publish and be dammed.
A word to the wise, may be the full story could overt a war of words, because it is an unwritten law that email addresses unless precise will never reach the intended destination. I believe that Frances did put pen to paper and just for the record wrote to Sue via snail mail, and so I wonder if a word to the wise may be to let Frances tell the story, because mark my words I could not read her lips.
This well may be a writing disaster, the full story will be unveiled just for the record, let us be straitened out by the very words that are written to the wise. With a letter of fire I think I may very well have lost the plot altogether.
hummm there begs the question, why is this Dog eat Dog world of ours based on spelling things out..
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Reaching My Horizons
My brain had gone numb; I had nothing to say, lost in a mire of despair.
The horizon seemed non-existent, let alone there being any light there.
Some-how I had weathered the storms of the past, and arrived on the Mid North Coast of NSW some 4 years ago shell shocked, but still in the land of the living. Alive but dimly lit. No idea where I would be led. I heard about the local Community College, but did not feel even strong enough to enter within the building. Questioning what did I want to do from here on with my life? No answers were to be found.
Till one day I met a lady who is a tutor at the college. She was a friend of a friend and seemed very approachable. There it was a chance I could take. I always felt I had some words to be written for people to read. I had made statements at times and people had told me to write what I said down in a book, but I could not spell so how could I write? The course that took my interest described as writing for pleasure, this title really struck a chord within me, spurring me on to make a phone call. From that phone call confidence came.
The course was in progress, but I was warmly welcomed by all, and soon felt a part of the group of writers that each have very worthwhile stories to tell. The relaxed environment really suited my learning, and the tutor having a special talent of teaching from within the group. My writing began to flourish, my confidence was raised. I even reached out to another writing group. Alas that group was not what I needed, but the course at the Community College tutored by my friend certainly has given me wings.
I have ventured to write stories and enter competitions. Had the honor of winning which brought a great smile to my face. My confidence has grown, my writing has progressed. I know I can write to be heard. When we grow in our wisdom throughout the years and have learned about life sometimes the hard way, there is a real story to be told to pass on what you have gained. You see, I believe that information is not wisdom till it is passed on to others. It is then that you know what you really do know.
Without the time I have spent at this class, I certainly would not be where I am today. I re entered the workforce which I believe was totally gone for me. Took on a position giving support to others regarding things I have gained over the past years. This was only for a short three month but it was a great experience while I was a part of people’s lives.
My thanks to the people I have met on my journey, there are so many, how could I remember all their names. But it is not the names that are important. It is the human being who reaches out and touches us just when we have the need. To all who I have met, you are really a part of my journey which have led me this far.
From the ashes of life I have risen to a place where I know that I matter and I value the part of my journey, reaching out to the Horizon and even beyond.
The horizon seemed non-existent, let alone there being any light there.
Some-how I had weathered the storms of the past, and arrived on the Mid North Coast of NSW some 4 years ago shell shocked, but still in the land of the living. Alive but dimly lit. No idea where I would be led. I heard about the local Community College, but did not feel even strong enough to enter within the building. Questioning what did I want to do from here on with my life? No answers were to be found.
Till one day I met a lady who is a tutor at the college. She was a friend of a friend and seemed very approachable. There it was a chance I could take. I always felt I had some words to be written for people to read. I had made statements at times and people had told me to write what I said down in a book, but I could not spell so how could I write? The course that took my interest described as writing for pleasure, this title really struck a chord within me, spurring me on to make a phone call. From that phone call confidence came.
The course was in progress, but I was warmly welcomed by all, and soon felt a part of the group of writers that each have very worthwhile stories to tell. The relaxed environment really suited my learning, and the tutor having a special talent of teaching from within the group. My writing began to flourish, my confidence was raised. I even reached out to another writing group. Alas that group was not what I needed, but the course at the Community College tutored by my friend certainly has given me wings.
I have ventured to write stories and enter competitions. Had the honor of winning which brought a great smile to my face. My confidence has grown, my writing has progressed. I know I can write to be heard. When we grow in our wisdom throughout the years and have learned about life sometimes the hard way, there is a real story to be told to pass on what you have gained. You see, I believe that information is not wisdom till it is passed on to others. It is then that you know what you really do know.
Without the time I have spent at this class, I certainly would not be where I am today. I re entered the workforce which I believe was totally gone for me. Took on a position giving support to others regarding things I have gained over the past years. This was only for a short three month but it was a great experience while I was a part of people’s lives.
My thanks to the people I have met on my journey, there are so many, how could I remember all their names. But it is not the names that are important. It is the human being who reaches out and touches us just when we have the need. To all who I have met, you are really a part of my journey which have led me this far.
From the ashes of life I have risen to a place where I know that I matter and I value the part of my journey, reaching out to the Horizon and even beyond.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The Moment of Embarrassment Being There
Being there..... The Moment of Embarrassment
Getting out of the Pool I walked towards the change room door. As I pushed the door I found the room was full of other women, all in different states of undress. You see the Aqua Aerobics Class had arrived and these ladies were all chatting away undressing. Where oh where should I look, I did not want to seem as though I was looking at the old dear with her breast hanging to her knees. I certainly did not want to look at the young blond woman in the corner bending to put her costumes on. Oh where oh where is there a space for me to place my clothes and begin to dry the water off my body. The feeling of modesty swelled up from within me, not a private little corner could be found. These women all seem quite familiar with each other and it was so matter a fact as they changed. All I long to do was to turn and head back out the door, but then what would I do. Where else could I change from my wet costume into my clothes? Of all days for this to happen, it was quite a chilly day and I was now feeling goose bumps not only of fear, but of coldness.. Why did I get out of the pool at the moment I did? If I had only waited five more minutes these women would have been into their costume and in the pool for their group. I would have been safe and not standing embarrassed in the door way where yet another woman was trying to enter the room. Could I just dart back behind this woman and smile and wait for the room to clear? I was stuck in the moment, not being able to move a muscle. Finally one of the woman who was now in her costumes, smile and moved saying to me "There you go, I will leave you my little corner". The relief this woman seems to understand my dilemma and have empathy giving me this corner. I breathed a sigh and moved towards the corner and ever so discreetly sat drying myself and looking into no where.. I could see several cracks in the ceiling and there was a cobweb in one corner. One by one these women seemed to now leave the room all eagerly going for their session in the pool. At last I was now alone. Being There all alone never felt so good.. I could now pull off my cossie dry my body and throw on my tea shirt and undies and I would feel safe again once I had my privacy intact.
Next Monday I will remember to wait those 5 minutes.
Getting out of the Pool I walked towards the change room door. As I pushed the door I found the room was full of other women, all in different states of undress. You see the Aqua Aerobics Class had arrived and these ladies were all chatting away undressing. Where oh where should I look, I did not want to seem as though I was looking at the old dear with her breast hanging to her knees. I certainly did not want to look at the young blond woman in the corner bending to put her costumes on. Oh where oh where is there a space for me to place my clothes and begin to dry the water off my body. The feeling of modesty swelled up from within me, not a private little corner could be found. These women all seem quite familiar with each other and it was so matter a fact as they changed. All I long to do was to turn and head back out the door, but then what would I do. Where else could I change from my wet costume into my clothes? Of all days for this to happen, it was quite a chilly day and I was now feeling goose bumps not only of fear, but of coldness.. Why did I get out of the pool at the moment I did? If I had only waited five more minutes these women would have been into their costume and in the pool for their group. I would have been safe and not standing embarrassed in the door way where yet another woman was trying to enter the room. Could I just dart back behind this woman and smile and wait for the room to clear? I was stuck in the moment, not being able to move a muscle. Finally one of the woman who was now in her costumes, smile and moved saying to me "There you go, I will leave you my little corner". The relief this woman seems to understand my dilemma and have empathy giving me this corner. I breathed a sigh and moved towards the corner and ever so discreetly sat drying myself and looking into no where.. I could see several cracks in the ceiling and there was a cobweb in one corner. One by one these women seemed to now leave the room all eagerly going for their session in the pool. At last I was now alone. Being There all alone never felt so good.. I could now pull off my cossie dry my body and throw on my tea shirt and undies and I would feel safe again once I had my privacy intact.
Next Monday I will remember to wait those 5 minutes.
The Moment Where I Stand Today
I stand in the rain and continue to get soaked. Shelter is only temporary for to live one must continue to move each day. To live can be so painful. Streets filled with those that aim their sites on you, just waiting to take a pot shot or two. Real rest never comes as one must be on guard, for what sometimes feels like friend, are enemy in disguise.
We strive for high ideals, and for the right to be heard, alas there are others more powerful their schema in place, seize the moment and take centre stage. You are left in the wings, in the wings without wings to take flight. If you just found the way through the darkness, and into the light.
The world has no understanding where I stand. What is the norm for a person as I? Who sets the standard that we perceive we must achieve? Is my brain slower or faster than theirs? Is my thinking outside of the boundaries that they all understand?
I get on a train for a destination or two. If only the thinking would slow down just a little and my head would not feel like a fast train to me. The thoughts that come and consume my entire brain can take over and change directions which derail my way.
Now want a journey without pain and or frustration, to be filled with energy and enlightened by the sun. To walk into the light, and be filled with energy to continue the journey that is laid down for my travels. Unsure of just where I want to be right now, but just want to rest and recover from the journey, make sense of the past and move on to the future.
One step at a time will I take to discover the next place for me. Life can be great I have seen that this is so. I have stood on a mountain and surveyed my great achievements.
At times I have felt the wind that takes me to saw through the clouds and onto the sea. I have sailed the ocean through dark storms, raging the tempest and gaining the edge. Accomplished the distance that I never thought, I could complete. The pain and the sorrow of lost ones I have seen left me behind to go on alone. But alone I can continue with Him by my side. The One who will carry me when I am tired, the One who accepts me just as I am, the One who acknowledges the gold within me.
My heart has been broken by those around me. Never the less He keeps me in tacked. The hole that is left as part of me died, has given me eyes that see other entire, without judgment or condemnation although I do discern between them and myself.
If I know and understand just who I am now, then I can understand others that pass by my way. I can be the Me who the great Maestro wants, to stand in the rain but never get drenched.
We strive for high ideals, and for the right to be heard, alas there are others more powerful their schema in place, seize the moment and take centre stage. You are left in the wings, in the wings without wings to take flight. If you just found the way through the darkness, and into the light.
The world has no understanding where I stand. What is the norm for a person as I? Who sets the standard that we perceive we must achieve? Is my brain slower or faster than theirs? Is my thinking outside of the boundaries that they all understand?
I get on a train for a destination or two. If only the thinking would slow down just a little and my head would not feel like a fast train to me. The thoughts that come and consume my entire brain can take over and change directions which derail my way.
Now want a journey without pain and or frustration, to be filled with energy and enlightened by the sun. To walk into the light, and be filled with energy to continue the journey that is laid down for my travels. Unsure of just where I want to be right now, but just want to rest and recover from the journey, make sense of the past and move on to the future.
One step at a time will I take to discover the next place for me. Life can be great I have seen that this is so. I have stood on a mountain and surveyed my great achievements.
At times I have felt the wind that takes me to saw through the clouds and onto the sea. I have sailed the ocean through dark storms, raging the tempest and gaining the edge. Accomplished the distance that I never thought, I could complete. The pain and the sorrow of lost ones I have seen left me behind to go on alone. But alone I can continue with Him by my side. The One who will carry me when I am tired, the One who accepts me just as I am, the One who acknowledges the gold within me.
My heart has been broken by those around me. Never the less He keeps me in tacked. The hole that is left as part of me died, has given me eyes that see other entire, without judgment or condemnation although I do discern between them and myself.
If I know and understand just who I am now, then I can understand others that pass by my way. I can be the Me who the great Maestro wants, to stand in the rain but never get drenched.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
A Moment that affect the rest of YOUR life
Edward Munch depiction of The Scream vividly tells of a life shattering event. Something which shakes the very core of your existence. How? Why? Would something like this happen to ME? What have I done that I might deserve such a catastrophe? The scarlet horizon shows the impending gloom and the swirly dark waters seem to be engulfing your very shadow. There is no escape, you must face this moment in time. How you will deal with the moment will be your only pathway through this ordeal.A child is given to you by birth and taken by death. We have some control over the birth part, but we can do nothing to stop a death. How could have I known what was in store for our family. What could I do differently that would have a better outcome?
There are no easy answers you just have to get in the boat called grief and paddle your way down the river of sadness. Sometimes you feel the sadness is grabbing for you. To let go and let it take over would be far easier than to continue the journey from that moment to the next. Three other children are dependent on your strength. One man who will say beside you through it all needs you. Just how you can keep from falling apart?
That is when it is one step at a time. One small step today will lead you on to the moment in time that will help you grow. Your body is weak and just wants to lie down and die, but life does have to continue. Sure thoughts of ending your life will emerge. But when the going gets difficult that is when the growing become the life long moments of learning. You have learnt that every moment is so precious. That moment of holding her one last time will elude you, but you know that there are others that will be part of your life, and they need your holding tight at time. YOU know how to hold tight. But then you have to be able to let go of anything you hold dear, for all this is only on loan. We will move on when the time is right to what is ours for eternity one day, and in that moment we will know all those Moments meant something REAL.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
another moment passes by
Yesterday is not the today of which I spoke as today, as moment’s pass it will soon be yet another day and today will be gone. Tomorrow will be the moment of which I await.
I made no change today so today was much the same as yesterday. There were several events that were not the same so if those events can bring forth change then maybe tomorrow shall not quite be the same.
For in each day there are things that just do never stay the same. That is good as without the change how would we tell when another day or moment has passed our way.
I thought of years that had gone by the history that there was made. With out so many people and there endeavors this world would stay unchanged. Some would say that is good, for with some change this world had grown not well. We human beings have made our way from yester year through to tomorrow and trampling everything in sight.
So with each passing moment I will take pleasure in every one and learn from that so that my tomorrow will not be in vain.
I made no change today so today was much the same as yesterday. There were several events that were not the same so if those events can bring forth change then maybe tomorrow shall not quite be the same.
For in each day there are things that just do never stay the same. That is good as without the change how would we tell when another day or moment has passed our way.
I thought of years that had gone by the history that there was made. With out so many people and there endeavors this world would stay unchanged. Some would say that is good, for with some change this world had grown not well. We human beings have made our way from yester year through to tomorrow and trampling everything in sight.
So with each passing moment I will take pleasure in every one and learn from that so that my tomorrow will not be in vain.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Today
Today is the Day. But what day? How is this day different to the last day or from the next day?
Some say Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.
Indeed it could be just that, but when you come down to it, today is just another moment in time.
A film clip of the movie that is our lives. One frame of a long reel of activity though out the moments in time.
At this moment I have no idea where the next moment will lead me or who I shall meet, it is a mystery yet to unfold.
By tomorrow it will have happened and I shall be pleased or not so pleased with those moments.
To begin a new day just as the next will most likely have a very similar outcome to the last.
Change is the key.... to new moments...
But change is not always easy. Change can be very difficult. Our mind does not seem to invite change readily. That is for some. Where as others seem to embrace change and ride on the roller coaster with no thought of where it will take them.
To reach the impossible, one had to believe in possibilities and not be afraid to make changes. But change creates unfamiliar territory and fear takes on the tempest of the storm to make change just that much more difficult.
What will I change? is the question. What am I prepared to risk?
One thing I think I can change.. I ponder.. will I change that one thing, only tomorrow will reveal.
Some say Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.
Indeed it could be just that, but when you come down to it, today is just another moment in time.
A film clip of the movie that is our lives. One frame of a long reel of activity though out the moments in time.
At this moment I have no idea where the next moment will lead me or who I shall meet, it is a mystery yet to unfold.
By tomorrow it will have happened and I shall be pleased or not so pleased with those moments.
To begin a new day just as the next will most likely have a very similar outcome to the last.
Change is the key.... to new moments...
But change is not always easy. Change can be very difficult. Our mind does not seem to invite change readily. That is for some. Where as others seem to embrace change and ride on the roller coaster with no thought of where it will take them.
To reach the impossible, one had to believe in possibilities and not be afraid to make changes. But change creates unfamiliar territory and fear takes on the tempest of the storm to make change just that much more difficult.
What will I change? is the question. What am I prepared to risk?
One thing I think I can change.. I ponder.. will I change that one thing, only tomorrow will reveal.
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