or
hidden under
The Bridge
Just as we never know what is beneath the surface of the water
we never know what is going on with our sons and daughters
All we can do is do the best that we can
and hope that they will understand
It is the same with friends and foe
we put up a front so they will never know
We pretend that we are strong
and we sing them our song
do what you like
just get on ya bike
and hold on and hide
what we do feel in side..
Pretending we are doing ok
come the end of the day
I picked up a note book that I had written in so many years ago when I first decided to enter the wonderful world of education as an adult.
It was Welfare I was studying - The Helping Relationship and what it entailed.
One question that I wrote - How is Abnormal different to Normal.
On that I still ponder. Am I normal or are you normal and if I compare myself to others is that how I understand if I am normal?
My first Tutorial Journal for that year.
The Issue
My Thoughts and Feelings at that time
Beginning the day it was rather nerve shattering, never the less when hearing how tutorials would be run I became interest and drawn to how the class could explore the issues that we will encounter. The adventure we were to embark on was something new and exciting. I had felt that previously things had got bogged down and become non directional.
But to begin a new with a fresh understanding of the journey that lay ahead, being filled with the anticipation of this new year.
Thinking about feedback of both positive and negative it is vital we receive feedback to understand our whole being. At time with the classes there would be Bitch session over coffee, but it would often serve as a debriefing which emptied out some emotions and clarified things. When you are thrown together in a class room you learn to accept each as they are, and endeavour to trust as you can. I feedback is given in the spirit of acceptance then whether it be good or not so good it should be received with a positive outlook.
What did I learn at that Time
I am a creature of habit and setting up a journal I have done before so I will follow the same habits till I find any more. Once in a while I have to break loose and try something new.
About how we learn what our strengths and weakness are it is from feedback that we see what other think who we are. When we do not receive any feedback we can often think the worst and put a lot of SHIT on our shoulders much more than we ever deserve, or than any one person could do. Negative feedback can often help in the fine tuning of our performance to get a better result. Just as when we turn on a radio and search for a station, we can do it by ear...when the Ssss sounds become more clear, with no static coming through with each word.
Thus as we listen to others reflect on how they view us and the way we present, this can reinforce our good feeling about who we are, and how we did what ever we did. It can also enlighten us to tune in to refine our performance to reach a better performance and maximise our strengths.
Now although I may waffle on I think I do make sense when I write.
All done and it was as easy as 1 2 3
now I can not think of anything to say
oh dear I will have to give my brain a rest
More to come Later....
I just downloaded this new application to do my blog in now what is it called? it is called Windows Live Writer.
Not sure how it will go but at this moment it looks great but I will have to have a good look around to see what it can achieve for me.
Now it says I can insert a picture so I shall try doing that now.
Now how easy was that? Some days I just feel like this till Noon.
Now what else can this do to make blogging an easy task each day?
Wow now that was so easy as easy as can be!
Very interesting this can be!
Now to post it how easy will that be?
Since I wrote my previous words upon this Blogg application many things have happened. Some very high moments where I felt I could again fly on wings of an Eagle and there have been other times when life just felt too hard to continue.
But if not to continue what else is there to do. I ponder on this thought!
I am sure any one who is truly human at times have felt the road of their life is just too dam hard to travel. And where to from here. The thought ever so fleeting in a moment just how could they end things have touched their mind.
It may seem very easy to say good bye to life as we know it, but what then would there be?
If you believe there is life after death then you will have the Joy of meeting your maker. Now what will he say? You have ended you journey far too soon there were so many more things for you to do. HE will not reject you for screwing it up, he will how ever I imagine not be too pleased with YOU for mucking up his great plan. He will look at his map that he had for your life. He will put his hand to his head and have a secondary plan. He will have to now reach down of carry all those YOU have left behind with the pain. The pain that YOU left because you could not contend with your journey. He will show you what you just missed out on, and the love ones in sorrow as you are no longer there. Ah yes he will not reject you but I am sure he will chastise you for your big boob, in cutting YOUR life just too dam short.
He will tell you he had all the shoes for the rest of your journey ready and waiting. He will show you all the support that was ever so close. But oh he will not reject YOU or even send you back for another go.
But you will then know all there is to know and will look back and see just what a dam silly thing it was to give up on the journey when in fact it all was ahead. You missed out on the flight of your life.
But no he will not reject you.
Now if you do not believe in the hereafter then what will there be? Nothingness. Darkness and still questions just never to be answered. A wall of marble in which you are etched a flat picture of where you just went, and then nothing, cause you do not exist. To feel nothing no pain, but not gain. No love and no passion oh how good is that? Cold solid nothing you never did exist and what was it all for? You will never ever know.
But He will not reject you he will give you a last chance to walk into the light that you never ever thought did exist. He will show you in a way that you will really understand. He will give YOU a last chance to accept the great truth. It will be so powerful you will not resist to walk into the light so you will have existed and it would all then make sense. But then you will know that you did end it all too soon. You missed out on flying like never before. But oh no he will not reject you.
So you ponder on where it all is in this journey we call life, today is just another day in the journey some good and some not so good. But to continue to climb and to fall in the journey is really the way to go. To reach out your hand for Jesus to hold. To take all those hurts of today, hand them over to your greater so to understand the pain. For without the pain there really is not all that much gain. When you climb your mountain you understand it so well. When you stand on the top and survey where you have been, you now understand the journey and cherish what YOU mean.
